Selling My Parents House
Last August my mother died at the age of 91. Since last September, her will has slowly been processed by our family solicitors. To cut a long story short we received the Grant of Probate in March this year. Three months on and my sister and I have finally put the family home up for sale. My sister still resides at the property and has done so all her life. Hence not only are we looking to sell our parents house but also find my sister a flat or maisonette. Both of us agreed when we embarked upon this process not to rush and to let things run at their own pace. The last few years of caring for our parents was a very difficult and exhausting experience. Hence, both of us have taken some time out to rest, recuperate and take stock of our lives. My sister has recently retired and it was important to get that matter resolved first, before addressing the sale of the family home.
One of the most challenging aspects of this process has been the house clearance. This has involved going through all our parents’ possessions and deciding what to do with them. It is a very sobering experience to be confronted with all the personal items and clothing that a person has amassed during the course of their life. At times it feels like you are complicit in erasing that person’s identity. But you can’t hang on to everything although it would appear that my parents came from a generation that did exactly that. Some of the things that my mother and father hoarded beggar belief but they grew up during World War II and were accustomed to hardship. Rampant consumerism and disposability were not the foundations of society back then, so I will forgive their compulsion to hang onto everything.
Once the clearance was completed, we commissioned a local Estate Agents and formally put the house up for sale. A photographer came and took multiple pictures of the house and gardens. It was scrupulously measured and categorised. The final sales description is honest and accurate. It is a three bedroom, end of terrace house in a desirable residential area and has a 110 foot south facing garden. There are two reception rooms, two bathrooms and a kitchen extension. The house has “potential to extend and modernise” which is the polite way of saying it needs a complete refurbishment. This is fair as it was last redecorated in the eighties and done so according to the prevailing tastes and styles of the time. The asking price reflects the current housing market in Greater London. However, sales take longer at present, so we’ve been told to be patient.
There are many milestones during the course of one’s life. The purchase and then years later, the sale of a family home are certainly among them. In the UK, home ownership is still considered a major aspirational goal, although it is currently becoming increasingly difficult. The concept of a “house of your own” is a significant political issue and a major part of the UK’s cultural identity. Whereas in Europe, renting is far more commonplace. My parent’s generation saw buying a home as a major achievement. The provision of a safe and welcoming home environment to raise a family was the foundation of a marriage. Your home,once paid for, became an asset and a source of financial security. In their later years it brought a sense of comfort to both my parents, that they had something of value that their children could inherit. Hence a house is often more than just “bricks and mortar”.
For me the house still holds a lot of memories, although I moved out over three decades ago. My sister’s perspective is a little different as she has lived there all her life. Although she shares a broadly similar sentimental outlook regarding the house, it is now unsuitable for a single person. She is looking forward to downsizing and moving somewhere new. Plus, during our parents illnesses I always had the luxury of going to my own home at the end of the day, where she did not. I understand how the home may not offer as much nostalgia for her. Overall, we are both in accord with the sale and although it is the end of an era, we are happy for the house to find new owners. It was designed in the 1930s to be a family home and it would be nice to see it serve that purpose once again.
