ChatGenie Questionnaire
I spent some time today, looking for a new internet questionnaire as they make for fun and quirky blog posts (by which I mean lazy and easy ones). Sadly, most of the search results that Google found were ones I’ve done already. So I thought why not ask the online AI, ChatGenie, to provide the questions? Surely it can’t be that difficult to come up with some interesting talking points? Well it turns out it is, because the 10 questions that the AI has provided are not especially inspired. However, I did find it amusing how ChatGenie justified itself, explaining where the mirth and hilarity lie in each of its questions. Therefore, here are my answers to what I am officially calling the ChatGenie Questionnaire. Feel free to complete it yourself.
Q: Do you cry easily? (This question encourages introspection as to how emotional you may be)
A: No. I was raised during the seventies in the UK and the prevailing culture was to not cry unnecessarily. The cliche of maintaining a stiff, upper lip was still commonplace. Age has brought a degree of wisdom and I have now tempered this emotional foible. When both my parents died, at the time I kept a stoical demeanour, mainly because I was the one dealing with everything and I needed to be “functional”. When everything was done, I allowed myself to grieve and cry accordingly. Oddly enough, I find that films have the power to stir my emotions the most. I remember when I saw Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan for the first time. When Spock died I wept openly like I’d lost a brother.
Q: What's the most embarrassing song you secretly love to sing along to? (A lighthearted question that can spark hilarious answers.)
A: All Kinds of Everything by Dana, although I prefer the cover version by Slim Whitman from 1978. I can never remember the specific things named in the song, so I improvise. Fruit Bats, Orangutans, the Sudanese etc.
Q: If your life was a movie, who would play you and what genre would it be? (Get them thinking about their personality and how they see themselves.)
A: Peter Cushing and it would definitely be a horror film.
Q: What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten and would you recommend it? (A fun and unexpected question that's sure to generate unique answers.)
A: Snails and squid. Snails are just like any other shellfish and their culinary merit depends upon the sauce they’re cooked and served in. As for squid, I don’t mind calamari (battered and fried squid rings) but find that the whole baby squids are too rubbery for my tastes. Overall, I’m not someone who will eat something just because it is considered weird. However, if a weird dish can be proven to be potentially tasty, I will theoretically consider eating it.
Q: You're stranded on a deserted island with only three items. What are they and why? (A classic question with a twist, encouraging them to think about their priorities.)
A: A supply of antibiotics for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t want to die as a result of a simple cut or insect bite. A firearm to take care of any potential dangers and a wind up radio. I could listen to the shipping forecast.
Q: If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them? (This question invites them to think about their interests and curiosity.)
A: I think a meal with Sir Archibald McIndoe would be rather interesting. He was a pioneering plastic surgeon from New Zealand who moved to the UK in 1930. During World War II he developed numerous pioneering techniques while treating badly burned Royal Air Force aircrew. His patients at the Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead, Sussex, formed the Guinea Pig Club. This was a social club and mutual support network.
Q: What’s the best way to waste time? (A funny question that allows people to embrace their quirks.)
A: The best way to waste time is to do so in a guilt free fashion. I know too many people who are uncomfortable with their own personal leisure time and often feel guilty if they’re not doing something “productive”. Fortunately, I’m not one of them and I learned from my father that if you ever get a chance to take it easy in between all the hustle and bustle, then grab it with both hands.
Q: If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be and how would it be celebrated? (This encourages creativity and allows them to express their ideal world.)
A: I’d like to establish an international “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all” day. It could alternatively be known as “Shut the fuck up” day. Its philosophy and merits are self-evident. Those who break the credo have “twat” written on their forehead for the rest of the week as penance.
Q: What's the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you believe in? (A playful question that can lead to some entertaining answers.)
A: I don’t believe in conspiracy theories or care for the associated culture. Occam’s razor is often a sufficient tool to invalidate most of them. Plus, most major conspiracies are predicated on secret plots. If there is one defining characteristic of humans, it is that most cannot keep their mouth shut. It’s an obvious contradiction.
Q: What's your favourite word and why? (A simple yet insightful question that reveals their personal preferences and vocabulary.)
A: According to an analysis of my blog posts, I use the word “nebulous” a lot. I do like it as it beautifully encapsulates anything vague, indistinct or ill defined. The thing is, I like lots of words. Why settle for just one?
